In some people quite often a tendency which has its root in the perpetual indecisiveness is developed at the early age and later on too late the tendency remains to pass time anyhow,just to prepare for office in morning too cautiously and meekly than pass the time in office ,while watching the clock,observing/disposing some work etc with continuously jostling with inner thoughts ,such tendency further lead to impairment of ones capacity of appropriate response ,which again causes dent in image and internal despairing.
The dull evening usually and sometime some performance due to compulsion or in some finer moment ,here and there,it becomes as if a constant fear is stalking one and on holidays /free time ,it is felt as if the day/time has begin and going to elope soon,not allowing one freedom and free will to pursue the hobbies /interest comfort and not allowing the complete satisfaction of enjoying/holidaying.
the time appears as enemy ,whereas the every moment should appear to one as friend and enjoyment inner peace and comfort should accompany one.
how it can become a feature that nothing appears interesting ,the charming wait is hardly there ,and hurry to go to bed but there also a regular constant comfortable wake up and sleep is sometime not in place.
the matters are lying pending for long and the matters of too urgency or the matters for which one is prodded are hardly performed.
the all wish remain as if to obtain nirvana from the chores of daily life /responsibility ,troubles and getting rid of tackling newer issues which prop up every day even in the routine course.
something is needed which can block the hurdles of mind from letting emerge the routine daily charm and allowing satisfaction of the peaceful day.
the over cautiousness is also a cause of anxieties ,which takes deep root in one and further the current circumstances not adding to the healing up process further compounds the problem.but the setbacks ,the continous struggle is part of life of average person that has to be understood and the euphoria of ones satisfaction could hardly be found.
as if the WORRIES ALSO HAS THEIR HIERARCHY of IMPORTANCE ,the hierarchy is chosen by self ,it may have real or imaginary weight age
its sometime amazing that matters of no importance are bothering one too much and making ones life a hell,my spects are not suitable and appear to be having a dent ,i forget today my comb/purse and the very such feelings are not leaving ones companionship.
the potential was immense ,the intelligence was immense ,but the weak self,the spectra of fear ,the ghost lying within which does not allow the thoughts of angels to surface ,has put the cracks in the face ,the personality and the self of one.
the support,some pure support of human,books and other curative process and above all the grace of almighty is the beacon of hope.